hi! can you help me please. i have just returned to england after two weeks in laos. i have met a very nice straight laos lady and we have become married at her parents home (approved by the headman) but we did not register officially. she wants to come to england. we visited the usa embasssy in ventianne (they deal with all uk visa requests) she applied for a visitor visa which was declined. i realise that we will have to register the marrige officially and then she can apply again. can you tell me what can i do to speed up the application. i have been warned that it could take a year and cost 2000$ and being treated as a cash machine. should i give up? i am sending her 20,000 bahts a month to help her family? am i crazy? please be honest!

You known this girl for two weeks? I dont know but 20 thousand baht a month sounds crazy to me.

I guess it's true what they say, " a sucker is born every day ".
Actually I like this one, " a fool and his money are soon parted ".
This is as honest as I can be, without laughing, haha.

Just cause they are poor, doesn't mean they aren't scandalous.
By the way, just out of curiosity, do you own a BMW?

hmmmm..........   the trouble is i beleive people.   a soft touch and a sucker!  thats me!    thanks for your honesty!   maybe i should enter a monastry!!!!!!    lol

You can't really speed the process...you just have to wait and be patient.  Did you really know the girl for 2 weeks?  If this is the case you are screwed.  You jumped the gun way too soon bud.  I can guarantee you if you go through with this, the odds of her leaving you is 99% give or take 1-2  years.  Otherwise, give up your citizenship and remain in Laos.  Keep her there, and the marriage could last a lifetime.   :)
It's your call, there's still that 1% that she'll remain loyal to you for the rest of your life.  Be sure to keep me and everyone posted after 1-2 years okay?  

Azzuccar, $2000 USD is actually not bad on average. Many foreigners pay $3,500 USD and more to run the marriage paperwork, and sometimes it takes 6 months.

But sending 20,000 baht ($590 USD) a month to help her family is definately crazy like Pankeo said. Most people earn 3,000 - 5,000 baht per month in Laos just to give you some information.

I agree with Jackspade, leave her there and have a baby for a few years before get her to US, you might increase your odd to 20%, of course there is always exceptions, always someone win lotto, howcome never me or someone that I knew win ?
It's not love, it's the hormone that does the trick. Good luck !

c'mon guys.. give the man a break!!! :-) he probably had the best time of his life in that 2 weeks span.  she must of treat him like a king... i guess when you're in love and happy, money is no object..  $600 per month is a lot of $$$..  

technically.. you can't get marry cause they do not give you a marriage license .. they call it engagement party..

as for getting her visa approve..  i've heard all kind of stories, some took only a month and some a year or two.. plus spending so much $$$ on pushing them papers around..   things haven't change that much in laos, if you push those papers along with some cash.. most likely your documents will get approve faster.

good luck Azzuccar!!!

Buk IIWJ wrote on 24^th Mar, 2010 at 2:58pm:

c'mon guys.. give the man a break!!! :-) he probably had the best time of his life in that 2 weeks span.  she must of treat him like a king... i guess when you're in love and happy, money is no object..  $600 per month is a lot of $$$..   technically.. you can't get marry cause they do not give you a marriage license .. they call it engagement party.. as for getting her visa approve..  i've heard all kind of stories, some took only a month and some a year or two.. plus spending so much $$$ on pushing them papers around..   things haven't change that much in laos, if you push those papers along with some cash.. most likely your documents will get approve faster. good luck Azzuccar!!!

You are absolutely right!!  Poor guy is probably stressing out right now. LOL

wow, 600 USD a month and this all obviously without any illegal pre-marital intimacy ;-) !!!

tewada wrote on 24^th Mar, 2010 at 6:29pm:

wow, 600 USD a month and this all obviously without any illegal pre-marital intimacy ;-) !!!

yea.. i know eh!!  i can live comfortably with a budget of $600 a month. :D

pre-marital intimacy! i love that phrase! we did indulge!
thank you for all of your advice!  i was naive to think that it could work out. pity because i had a dream........

This is a lesson for you to learn!
Next time use your big head to think not the little head between your legs! if you do used the little head to think, the out come always...this way.......

Tee - you sound like a preacher!

tewada wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 8:18am:

Tee - you sound like a preacher!

I'm sorry to disappoint you! what make you think I am? I just a humble man. earning just a few dollars to survive each day.

well, you seem to be unaware of the tone of your message then... you might want to examine your communications style....

tewada wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 4:03pm:

well, you seem to be unaware of the tone of your message then... you might want to examine your communications style....

Really Tewada!

Please don't assume anything until you sure about it. read between the line and try to understand what it mean! I don't have  a degree of communication,but I have been making deal worth million of dollars.
I dislike people put down their own race! Always talk negative about it! as I said before. I do apology for disappoint you.

thanks tee for the wise words of wisdom!  one day i will learn!!!!!    lol

Tee wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 4:49am:

This is a lesson for you to learn! Next time use your big head to think not the little head between your legs! if you do used the little head to think, the out come always...this way.......

I agree.  I think people are ignorant in general. They let the hormone get the best of them.  The information for this particular situation is available online and other sources.  Instead, they wait until they get into a deep end of the hole, then they start to care about the possibility of right and wrong. The family that ask for $600 a month is outrageous, they know it...but, do they care? Nope.  I don't think you can reason with them.  Poor guy probably wont' be allowed to visit Laos again if he breaks off the engagement I can almost guarantee it.  

tewada wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 4:03pm:

well, you seem to be unaware of the tone of your message then... you might want to examine your communications style....

No one's perfect.  As long as everyone here understands each other, that is all that matters.  

azzuccar wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 8:11pm:

thanks tee for the wise words of wisdom!  one day i will learn!!!!!    lol

Technically speaking, you are married to her.  So, you are going through with it right?  If you are I hope it all works out.   ;D

we were married in the village with the blessing of the headman. nothing on paper also no certificate. its just a pity she has got greedy. i am not rich or poor but i feel like a cash machine. pity!  she wants to come to england! of course!    i will wait and see!   i am sending no more money.  then i will see if her love of me is genuine.   thanks for your advice.   i think i was lucky i did not get arrested as we had premarital sex!  

azzuccar wrote on 26^th Mar, 2010 at 10:08pm:

we were married in the village with the blessing of the headman. nothing on paper also no certificate. its just a pity she has got greedy. i am not rich or poor but i feel like a cash machine. pity!  she wants to come to england! of course!    i will wait and see!   i am sending no more money.  then i will see if her love of me is genuine.   thanks for your advice.   i think i was lucky i did not get arrested as we had premarital sex!

it will get from bad to worst when you stop wire her money. that mean she has lose her face. I will sugget you to send her less, let about you have just lose you work and have problem of sending her the full amount. beside you need money to pay someone off in England too(she will assume you have to pay someone off just like in Laos) I call "testing the water, before jump in"...if she is ok...and can get by. that mean you had paid her too much and if she is ok with the wait....with less payment....I think, it would be ok to take her to England. but I still will take advice of JACKSPADE to move to Laos and live over there with her.

You got off cheap compared to this guy http://www.noudsakhone.com/

Hay hay hay ....be nice be kind to all walk of lives.....

I am who I am , I don't belong to No Body......
Ku Kar kheu ku bor pen kone phai

Mistake happenned all the times.
No One is perfect

A million dollars deal, Common mate ...Pleeeaaaassssee do no shown off, I am very poor man and broke. I have no home, land and country.
I don't even known myself, Am I Lao or what ...Amerilao it doesn't sound right.

To Azzu & Twd (I can't call U Tewada) its against my religions.

If U guys are real man, if u love dog and marry dog.If U think aint worse it then dump the bits.  F the Lao Laws , No one in Laos obey the laws anyway. Starting from the Top thru bottom.
Corruption, Dishonest,Disgrace, no pride.........
Begging for food, money and aid from foreigner....

I am laotian, I knew my ppl well.  
In the past our fathers and mothers had pride
Presently we been lost to the modern world..

Please forgive us.......We are the sinners  

azzuccar,

You are f*cking idoit, you come in here just need attention and you got it. It is bogus. I think you are not that f*cking stupid.  Anyway, if you are that f*cking stupid and then go on with another Laotian ladies and send your paid check to them. Unf*cking real your story!!!

The man is full of fail.

With 20.000 Bahts, you can put your 2 inch brain into 20 juicy holes and feel like Tiger Woods.

Think about it.

Now, go kill yourself for being such a douchebag.

I 'm married with a Lao since 15 years, at the begining she never asked any money, the most difficult thing was the paper because no one in Phonesavanh knowed which document use ! but after several months we have been married.
We took time to know each other before, two weeks sounds too short for me, but if it really sincere love, why not ? but it need time to be sure, a wedding is a serious thing.
It 's so easy to fall in love , Lao girl are so beautiful.   :-*

You need to have a decent amount of money to marry a girl in Laos in this day and age.

The marriage paperwork for foreigners is expensive. You also have the wedding costs to deal with, including the dowry. And if plan to take her to live in your country then you have airfare costs and you need to support her financially until she is legal to work. This and that all add up.

That's right, hopefully Lao laws protect the girl, it's not so easy to get married with foreigners, if not some people could make a human traffic.
If you have many money ,you can do a lot of things but Lao people do not sell their girls like in some countries.

Alright, usually I don't say anything about topics like this but that's all I see on these boards all the time, White men looking for girls/women in asian countries. I'm not sure why these females are stupid enough to go for these guys cause most of them are bald and ugly. Maybe love is blind, well not in this case cause it seems to be very green.

I have seen all too often, asian women being "married" and taken away to their foreign husbands home country. They have no relatives or friends or anyone there for them to rely on except for their so called "spouse" that they just married. The white husband ensures that she has a baby so she doesn't run away and only serves him. She can't speak the language nor does she understand the laws so the only person she can rely on is this white man who needs to feel superior.

Search the web and you'll see sites for white men to meet/date/marry asian women from around the world. Why is that I wonder? The media has created this illusion that white men are the cream of the crop? So now all these creeps are after my sister. I dread the thought when I have a daughter, what will happen to her one day she is harrassed by this media created illusion that she is a sex object for white men.

Some people may think that I appear to be racist but I'm telling it like it is, the reality of what I've seen and to me, I think our Lao females deserve better than this. Sure I've seen interacial couples, I live in America, the melting pot. I just don't see "love" in these types of marriages that I've witnessed. Not talking about everyone, but that is just my personal experience, take it however you want. I think asian women especially Lao women have more of a choice instead of selling themselves short and being unhappy in the end.

These guys on here talk about having respect and love for these Lao women but you look at their actions and words and it is nothing of that sort.
Respect them means they have pre-marital sex with them.
Respect them means making empty promises to them.
Love them means they give them money.
Love them means taking them to their country and away from everyone that loves and cares for them.

I don't know about you guys but this sure sounds like prostitution rather than respect and love. Complaining about being ripped off? Saying that it's legit cause of the headman approval? Yeah, that's what most jon's try to do after they get busted in america, plead ignorance, how convenient.

The stupid thing about this whole thing is that these darn biatches will still never learn. Stop prostituting your daughters.

Buk Hoo Kee, I don't see anything wrong with the "bald and ugly" white men. It could be genetic or life in their country is very stressful, but they may be kind and caring from the inside.

Most Lao girls who enter into marriage with westerners come from poor families who see their marriage as a strategy to overcome poverty. It would be wrong to call them a prostitute, they just want access to a better life. We all want a good life.

In this day and age, looks isn't really important. A relationship involves money. You need it for a wedding, a new home, car, raising a baby etc.

One three does not represent all the forest.
You judge people too far, sure some foreigners look after asian ladies to bring them home as a slave, but for me i lived 4 years with her familly, we did not have premarital sex, and she not closed at home at all, she does speak french fluently now and learning english,we do have a lot of relative, she is working and we go to Laos as often as we can.She is free and really beloved.
I never thought "buy" her, we spent more than one year to know each other.
Love have no border for me.

I agree with you if you think to protect Lao ladies from wedding business, from poor families they sacrifice their wedding to go with a foreigner ,in hope to send money to the parents.

Open a little more your eyes and you will see that every one is different, not only white , bad and ugly.  ;)

Facts:
white + laos = non-laos
laos + laos = laos

How many Lao people are there in this world, 5 maybe 7 million world wide? And having non-laos children is supposed to help this how? And don't give me that crap of having the best of both worlds, it doesn't change the facts. Even most Lao kids here don't even speak Lao or know anything about Laos and their culture.

Admin, is the only way to get out of poverty is to marry a falung? Offering their daughter for marriage and demanding money may seem like a good strategy to overcome poverty, but it's still prostitution at the end of the day no matter how conveniently disguised it is.

I thought this was "Lao Pride" but every site that I go to about Laos is promoting westerners to go and marry/invest in Lao girls. How is this having pride in being Lao? The media has enticed asian women that by marrying white, their children become lighter skinned and that is desirable and that's why you see whitening cream being sold in these countries. Not wanting to have black hair, light brown skin, slanted eyes, doesn't this mean you don't want to be Lao anymore? Where is the pride in oneself then, where is the pride in being Lao? That is all I'm saying, have respect for yourself, have respect for being what you are, Lao.

One in three does not represent the forest but this forest is an endangered forest that needs preservation. If that tree falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound or is this a sign of things to come? One tree isn't significant?
I have nothing against you wanting the best that life has to offer and in this case, you agree with me that Lao women are the best choice. However, I'm not that naive as you are either to think that the world is all rosey and kind. I read the news everyday, and what do I see, the reality that this is still a white mans world, Isreal still in conflict in the Gaza strip, German president quits, China being pressured due to N Korean sinking incident, Japanese gov't criticised over US base in Okinawa. Why was it a big deal that the US had it's first black president you wonder? Why aren't there any asians in these gov'ts? Will we ever see an asian president/prime minister in these white countries? Isn't this world fair and just?

Does racism exist in this world, yes it does as long as there is more than one race. I can't help that I am Laos just like other people can't help what race they are, but I'm not going to throw out my self respect in being Laos. Can we co-exist, sure, and that is how to overcome racism, not by eliminating a human race. I often hear from people on this topic something similar to this, "be more open minded". Well I'm not that naive cause my mind is opened to the reality. What is wrong with having pride in oneself and being Lao with Lao? Is there something wrong with being pure Lao? Why are you people so negative and closed minded against me being pure Lao? If you say Lao women are the best and most beautiful then aren't you contradicting yourselves when you're saying interacial relationships are good. How does this benefit in creating more beautiful Lao women?

All these words that people may say about this topic may sound nice but in the end, the facts are the facts, no one can change that.
Keep it real, I'm Laos because my parents were both Laos and I'm grateful for that.

I understand you and i agree most of you said, but for me all people are human, i don't really care about the race, i just look what people say and do.
Of course you can be pride to be Lao, you must be.I don't deny my nationality, we cannot choose where we born.

I think that now, in 2010 we can't stay close in our country, we need to open to all the world.

As you said it's a real danger to promote asian ladies for "strangers" and promote a better life for who will marry to a "falung" and will be rich.

There are real love wedding with foreigners and Lao and all others "races" and the business one, which you are talking about.
I don't think you are naive, not at all, you frankly say what you think.

Lao ladies should know that life in france for example is not so fantastic as they think, life is more expensive, stressfull, french are not so  respecfull as they should be.
Maybe life is easier, more luxurious than in a house in Lao countryside (like where i lived) and i do understand who would like to change .

Buk Hoo Kee, Demanding money is becoming a big part in modern day Lao culture because we have the so-called dowry.

Usually their parents don't have a say and it's the girls own decision to be in a relationship with westerners. Lao men and women marry each other every year in Laos, and just because a handful of Lao women choose to marry outside their race doesn't necessarily mean that they are a prostitute.

I'm glad that you are pure Lao and you are proud of who you are, but a mixed Lao person does not make them any less proud of their Lao heritage.

We all know that there are millions of Laotians living in Thailand today. Some consider themselves to be Thai and some say they are Lao. It really comes down to who you want to be.

Sabai dee pi nong zao lao/ farang or mix half or quarter ....

Hay BHK, what's up  dog? what's going on fool?

I just came back from vacation in Thailand; been hanging out with the Red Shirt and Black Shirt.

Let me tell you guys some the thing: Most of our ppl are living in Thailand more than living in Laos. Estimate about 35-40 mil. Thai ppl call us Lao-Issaan and we call them Thai-Issaan. Red Shirts and Black Shirt 90% of them are Lao and some of them are Laotian from Laos with the Thai citizenship just piece of paper it ain't mean a shiit. They spoke with Viengchanh/ Savanh/ Sayyabury accent.

There are about 4 mil Laotians are living in Laos with the population about 7.2 mil mixing Vietnamese and Chinese.

On West side of the Mekong river, Thai ppl are alway look down to our ppl" Lao-Issaan and Lao", they calling us the Buffaloes,Uneducated,Ai Lao eat Padaek / sticky-rice  and all sort of things. And on East side Viet and Chinese are little difference[I have to give them a little credit].

I be wonder, when we are going to wake up to be  Independent and standing on our own feet.[ United Lao be one and for all ethnic Lao]

I wish you guy are open your eyes and ears...........
We [Our ppl been the Slave to the Rich and The Powerful Neighbors] for quite too long.

UDD leaders and Ex-PM Thaksin were using our ppl for theirs personal gain[ Tools ]. Sad Sad Sad, 88 dead but exactly were more than that numbers; alot had been missing.

50% in that Black Shirt were the real Ex-Patikan are living in Thailand and Laos. I wish we got support from the Lao-Communist in Laos......
but the UDD leaders had turned us down but Seh Daeng wanted to supporting us in one condition to be under his command.

At the end I came back home with the empty hand but I am very happy to see my ppl are standing up to fight for Democracy.

One day I hope we will be free.......

 

 

Well said, buk hoo kee.  I agreed with your comments and opinions.  You are right on.  I went to DateinAsia.com and tried to contact either Lao girls or Thai girls as soon as I told them that I am a Laotian. Guess what? No reply or nothing.  How sad? They are definitely looking for a falung.  Go try create a name in DateinAsia.com if you don't believe me. That's all folks!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/18/color.blind.casting/index.html?hpt=C2

This is the reality of the world. As long as there is this difference, people will continue to fight.

Buk Independence, I thought you died with buk red shirts in that last battle for bangkok. Why didn't you bring the AK-47's and them weapons of mass distruction from america? I wanted to go burn down bangkok too but I was too late. Most people don't understand why the redshirts are fighting. It is really a fight for respect between thai and laos. Like you said, there are many Lao people in thailand, mostly living in the esan area, northeastern thailand. The so called yellow shirts are snobby thai's who want to keep their power and keep looking down on Lao esan people. 80 fukcin people died and all they cared about was that their stoopid biatch of a mall that sells snobby asss clothing got burnt down, that's what pissses me off. Buildings and roads can be rebuilt, people cannot be brought back to life after they've been murdered by buk ha abhisit.

Yeah this is a fight about race, it's happening all over this god damm world. I will also fight for who I am until the very end. Red is the color of the old Laos flag, red is the color of the blood that has been spilt, red is the color that I feel.

Many years ago, there were political violence in Laos, now it's Thailand's turn. How sad that our world has come to this.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 20^th Jun, 2010 at 2:16am:

Many years ago, there were political violence in Laos, now it's Thailand's turn. How sad that our world has come to this.

yeah narrow minded fools will always hate on other races... i applause lao for taking some steps forward to embrace tolerance not like in years past.

oh. and. marrying girl from "laos" is cool. the innocent is still there for the most part