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Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao? (Read 840956 times)
 
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #435 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 1:31am
 
Prostitution is also about mixing with people, you need to know how to socialise with other girls at the establishment who share the same "interests", that's why you don't often see the ethnic minorities.

Most ethnic minorities don't like to blend in Lao society because they are different to mainstream Laotians in many ways including their language.

They also need to know how to travel, like you said prostitutes in the South come from the North, and prostitutes in Vientiane come from other parts of the country. It's hard for the ethnic minorities to leave their village/jungle.

Having said that, they could still prostitute outside of establishments that are generally occupied by mainstream Laotians. They don't necessarily need to be working in brothels but do it independently.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #436 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:13am
 
Actually the culture of Lao people which places importance on the girl being a virgin before marriage is different from the culture of many tribes in southern Laos, where many of the cultures encourage the girls to have a lot of sex before marriage. This is changing though, due to Lao influence and the culture of Lao people swallowing out the minority cultures. The Lao schools also have a role in this. In the past in a lot of villages in Southern Laos girls would have sex with many guys before they got married. Now, not so much but you can still find it in some less developed villages.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #437 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:34am
 
Whether or not someone is a virgin is irrelevant.

If they've lost their virginity, it doesn't mean they were once a prostitute. They may have had previous boyfriends.

It's their character that you should be looking at.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #438 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:59am
 
Maybe women think that way, but to men it definitely matters. I admit that it may be an ego thing, though. It's got more to do with the man's ego than the woman's character.

If a man knows that his woman has slept with another man it damages his pride. Pride is very important for men so I don't expect women to understand this like a man could.

One takes several factors into consideration before choosing a mate. Character is one of them, but not the only one.

The average man would not want to choose a woman he found no physical attraction to. Yes, I agree that character is important but it's only one of the factors and some people like to make it seem like all of them.

I'm not singling you out admin, but some women get very defensive and upset when men say they will only settle for a virgin. That's usually because they aren't virgins and they're afraid no one will want them.

Yes, there are some men who would settle for non-virgin women and they are usually the weaker beta-male types, or they don't have enough confidence to find a new girl so they have to settle for what they've got. There's a saying that goes "beggars can't be choosers."

I call those men "ຄົນບໍ່ມີສັກສີ"
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #439 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 4:56am
 
A side note: People have different values, and I'm not gonna criticize anyone, as long as they don't criticize me for wanting a virgin.

Men, ask yourself. Is your woman a virgin? If she isn't, do you deny that you would jump at a chance to get a girl who is younger, more beautiful and a virgin? If you denied it, there's a 70% chance you're lying.

I think many men would prefer a virgin but they won't admit it because either

1) virgin girls don't want them

2) they don't have the social skills, confidence or money to get a virgin girl

Now, if you are capable of getting a virgin girl but don't want one, then I won't criticize you for what you do. Remember, it's your life.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #440 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 5:17am
 
It's not that they don't have enough confidence, but there is something about the girl that attracts them. A virgin girl might be a priority for some guys, while other guys couldn't care less and love them for who they are.

It seems like you have to settle for the stay-at-home type girls because you don't accept anyone who have had prior boyfriends.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #441 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 9:28am
 
Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:59am:
... the weaker beta-male types, or they don't have enough confidence ...


Hmmm ...

Or perhaps it's the "beta-male types" who can't deal with a girl who has had other boyfriends. 

Maybe a true "alpha-male" is comfortable with a girl who has had some experience and who knows what she wants in life.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #442 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 12:40pm
 
Lol, this could go back and forth forever like a little game of tug o war, and neither of our opinions will change in the end, so let's just call a no contest. What is this "life" thing you speak of? I'm fine with sticking to the old gender roles of having her pop out a bunch of babies and grow vegetables in the fields, with the kids running around and riding on a buffalos back. I'm not familiar with this life thing you speak of but just listening to it it sounds unpleasant.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #443 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm
 
Also this is the same typical response I've heard from Americans over and over again. If i had a nickel for everytime a westerner gave me this response...The only reaso. I'd want a wife is to create a family not go on this spiritual journey sentimental bs that Americans have. I was actually expecting this response preemptively. I'm going for this the Lao Bannok way not the sophisticated white couples who see relationship counsellors and go to yoga classes way.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #444 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:45pm
 
Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:
The only reason I'd want a wife is to create a family not go on this spiritual journey sentimental bs that Americans have.

... In a certain way, that's amazingly consistent with what I was thinking about what you wanted. 

Question:  Is it okay for a guy to have sex with a girlfriend (or any girl) before marriage and then not marry the girl but move on to another girlfriend?



Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:
I'm going for this the Lao Bannok way not the sophisticated white couples who see relationship counsellors ...

Yes.  I see what you mean.

There's no need for a "beta-male" to go to a relationship counselor as long as the wife is sufficiently obedient and knows her place in the fields alongside the water buffalo.

But, then, there's also no need for a relationship counselor for the alpha-male who is actually comfortable with a strong wife or girlfriend, either.


Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:
... and go to yoga classes ...

My favorite Lao friend ... she teaches Yoga.   Cool

It's probably good that she has a "western" boyfriend.  They seem to do very well together.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #445 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm
 
In Lao culture no it's not, as most Lao people outside the cities are still very conservative and a girl expects marriage if u show interest in her. There's no such thing as dating. Don't ask admin as she's a progressive new era from Vientiane. I know this because I've been with Lao girls myself.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #446 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 9:08pm
 
And furthermore, people have married "weak women" all throughout history. So are they all betas because they don't conform to your new age American theory of what a woman should be? What makes these women strong women? Just because some self important feminist somewhere said so? Do I have some kind of moral obligation to be with a "strong woman"? Last I checked strength was a masculine trait and not a feminine one. We have different views, I get it. But that doesn't mean i'm wrong and you're right. If you like strong women then go for it, but I'll stick with my "weak women" and that doesn't make me any less of a man. And no I will never conform to western values just because they're seen as progressive and being the "correct ones"
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #447 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 9:38pm
 
"'A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys can be opened by the entire world.'” - Ancient Internet Proverb

Men have a duty to pursue as many sexual relations as possible while single. Women have the duty to reject their advances until the man makes a lifetime martial commitment to the woman. Women have complete control over the matter of sex and their choice to provide or deny allows them to control and even dominate men.

Every healthy man prefers a virgin to an easy woman. We can observe this preference across cultures and across time; the idea of woman as a sexually unrestrained being is unique to the modern Occidental perspective. Oswald Spengler observed the beginning of the egalitarian movement and predicted its repercussions in 1915. As predicted in his seminal work, "Der Untergang des Abenlandes", the United States and the rest of the West has and will continue to experience a decline in culture and population.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #448 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 10:12pm
 
Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 9:08pm:
Do I have some kind of moral obligation to be with a "strong woman"?
...
I'll stick with my "weak women" and that doesn't make me any less of a man.
... etc.


Was I even hinting that you have any "moral obligation" regarding this subject at all??  I didn't think so.  You can marry any kind of woman you want and, as long as you are good to each other, it seems to me it would be a good match. 

It's just that you said that certain desires & tastes necessarily indicate an "alpha male" vs. a "beta male."  And you backed it up by going on with your assumptions about the requirement for a "relationship counselor."  I merely wanted to state an alternate perspective.  Perhaps an "alpha male" doesn't necessarily conform to your notion of one.   

I said what I said because ...
Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 3:59am:
If a man knows that his woman has slept with another man it damages his pride.
... as I see it, an "alpha" male isn't necessarily so easily damaged by the previous actions of his girlfriend or wife and may even enjoy the fact that she knows more than other girls do about certain things (sexual or otherwise.)


I am certainly not opposed to "traditional" roles and values.  In fact, my own 40-year-long relationship with my wife has been much more "traditional" than many in American culture these days.  I just like to challenge fixed-set thinking, especially when it seems to be putting people into a "beta" class category for choices that don't necessarily hurt anything.


Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:
Don't ask admin as she's a progressive new era from Vientiane

I don't have to ask Admin Saovaluck.  She has made her views quite well known on this and other subjects.  And I appreciate them very much.  She is the kind of woman that I could easily be friends with if she wanted to be and if she were not halfway around the world.  A number of my friends are girls/women with such thoughts. 


Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:
...I know this because I've been with Lao girls myself.
Interesting.


Buk Nut wrote on 27th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:
In Lao culture no it's not.

But I wasn't asking in terms of "in Lao culture."  I am aware of what Lao culture says on the subject.  It is the same as the "traditional" views of many other cultures.

I was asking what you, personally, thought about the idea of having sex with a girl and then going on to another without marrying her.
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Re: Prostitution in Laos ? Why Lao?
Reply #449 - 27th Jun, 2014 at 10:37pm
 
Can you name one functional society in the world or in history that did not frown on female promiscuity?
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